Why did the politician bring a compass to the meeting? They wanted to stay on the right direction of the debate!

What do you call a group of politicians stuck on an island? A dysfunctional government!

Why did the politician join the band? They heard it was a good way to campaign!

What's a politician's favorite type of humor? Punditry!

How do politicians communicate in secret? They use in-cabinet meetings!

What do you get when you cross a politician with a refrigerator? Cold, hard facts!

Why did the politician become a painter? They wanted to brush up on their public image!

What do you call a politician who practices mindfulness? A meditator-in-chief!

Why did the politician go to the fabric store? They wanted to weave their policies together!

Why did the politician become a gardener? They heard it was a good way to plant their ideas!

What's a politician's favorite type of exercise? The spin cycle!

What do you call a politician who's always late? Fashionably delayed!

Why did the politician bring a map to the press conference? They kept getting lost in their own policies!

What's a politician's favorite clothing item? A spin doctor!

Why did the politician go to the art gallery? They heard there was a lot of sketchy behavior!

Why don't politicians clean their rooms? They're too busy sweeping things under the rug!

How does a politician cool down? They turn on the fan of promises!

Why do politicians do well in school? Because they're experts at spinning the truth!

What's a politician's favorite type of math? Subtracting accountability!

Why did the politician get a job at the bakery? They heard it was a great place to roll in the dough!

What's a politician's favorite ice cream flavor? Flip-flop ripple!