What do you call a politician who loves to take long walks? A filibuster!

Why did the politician bring a measuring tape to the campaign trail? To stretch the truth!

How do politicians communicate in secret? They use encrypted speeches!

Why did the politician go to the art gallery? To brush up on their smear tactics!

How do politicians avoid traffic jams? By creating gridlock in Congress!

Why did the politician start a garden? To plant some roots in the community!

How does a politician cool off on a hot day? By fanning the flames of controversy!

What's a politician's favorite type of math? Politricks!

Why did the politician join the improv group? To work on their spin skills!

What did the politician say to the environmentalist? Can I recycle my promises?

Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election? He heard he needed to climb in the polls!

Why did the politician always carry a map? He heard that they needed directions to the truth!

What's a politician's favorite type of yoga? Deflection.

Why did the politician bring a backpack to the debate? To pack all his lies in!

What do you call a politician who gets caught breaking the law? A lawmaker!

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the negotiation? To see who's the fairest of them all!

What's a politician's favorite type of music? Spin-ach.

Why did the politician take a cooking class? To learn how to cook the books!

What did the politician say to the healthcare system? I promise to repeal and replace you!

Why do politicians make terrible comedians? They always butcher the punchline!

Why did the politician go to the playground? To try out some new swing states!