Why did the politician bring a calculator to the speech? To make sure their numbers add up!

What do you call a group of politicians at the beach? The sand-wasting committee!

Why did the politician go to the auto show? To rev up their campaign engine!

How do politicians stay cool under pressure? They have ice water in their veins!

How does a politician save money? By cutting corners and raising taxes!

Why did the politician become a chef? To stir up some controversy in the kitchen!

Why did the politician go to the bakery? To get a slice of the pie!

What do you call a politician who doesn't tell lies? Retired.

What's a politician's favorite type of cookie? Diplomacookies!

Why did the politician visit the farm? To see how to milk the system!

How does a politician say goodbye? 'I'll see you on the campaign trail!'

What do you call a group of politicians on laptops? A Ctrl-Alt-Delete!

Why did the politician go to the baseball game? To practice their pitch!

Why did the politician break up with their calculator? It couldn't handle their fuzzy math!

What do politicians use to cook? Polls and pans!

How does a politician cool down during a heatwave? They filibluster!

Why did the politician write a book? To turn over a new leaf in their career!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a dog? A lot of bark and no bite!

Why did the politician bring a magnifying glass to Congress? To keep an eye on their colleagues!

How do politicians stay organized? They file everything under 're-election'!

How do politicians greet each other? 'Nice to PAC you!'