Why did the politician bring a shovel to the press conference? They wanted to dig themselves out of a hole.

What did the politician's notes say? Promises, promises, promises, lies.

Why did the politician bring a GPS to the debate? They wanted to show they know how to navigate issues.

What's a politician's favorite dance move? The sidestep.

Why did the politician bring a mirror to the speech? They needed to practice their reflection on the issues.

Why did the politician break up with the number 7? Because 7 8 9!

What do you call a politician who is always right? A lie-ble.

What do you call a politician who sleeps during meetings? A state nap-resentative.

Why did the politician go to the bakery? To find some more dough for his campaign.

What do you get when you cross a politician with a lawyer? Someone who can talk for hours without saying anything.

Why did the politician take up gardening? He wanted to see if he could make promises bloom.

What do you call a politician who is always on time? A rare breed.

Why did the politician wear a wig? To cover up his flip-flopping positions.

Why did the politician join the band? He wanted to work on his spin.

What do you call a politician who can play guitar? A crooked strummer.

Why did the politician go to therapy? He needed help managing his campaign issues.

What did one politician say to the other at the bar? Let's raise the bar on our policies.

How do politicians communicate in space? They use astro-nomical terms.

Why did the politician become a chef? He wanted to cook up some new laws.

What do you call a group of arguing politicians? An uncivil congress.

Why was the politician always calm under pressure? He had a filibuster buffer.