Why don't politicians play chess? Too many double-crosses already in politics!

Why did the politician cross the road? To dodge the questions on the other side!

What do you call a group of politicians on a cruise ship? A sinking ship!

How does a politician say hello? Shake your hand and pat their own back!

Why do politicians make terrible comedians? Because they can't deliver a punchline without changing their stance!

What's a politician's favorite type of music? Spin doctor rock!

Why did the politician go to the circus? To see the clowns in action!

What do you call a politician with a sense of humor? A rare breed!

Why did the politician become a gardener? He wanted to see if he could weed out corruption!

What's the difference between a politician and a catfish? One is a slimy bottom-feeder, the other is a fish!

Why did the politician bring a map to the debate? So he could navigate around the tough questions!

How do politicians exercise their freedom of speech? By talking out of both sides of their mouth!

Why did the politician take up ballet? He wanted to learn how to dance around the issues!

Why did the politician install a revolving door in his office? To keep his donors coming back!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a snake? A slick politician!

What do you call a group of politicians on a boat? A sinking ship!

Why did the politician get a pet snake? To learn how to charm the public!

What did the politician do at the bakery? Tried to get his hands on some dough!

Why did the politician study astronomy? To learn how to spin things in his favor!

What did the politician plant in the garden? Spinach, to practice his political spins!

How does a politician clean his glasses? With a cloudy outlook!