How does a politician measure success? By the number of hands they shake!

What's a politician's favorite type of seafood? Lobby lobster!

Why did the politician start gardening? He heard it was a great way to grow support!

How does a politician keep their cool during a tough debate? They run a fan campaign!

What do you get when you cross a politician and a magician? Someone who promises to make your problems disappear!

Why did the politician bring a calculator to the Senate? To tally up the votes!

Why did the politician take up painting? To brush up on their diplomacy!

What's a politician's favorite app? Spin-terest!

Why did the politician write a novel? To campaign for the bestseller list!

Why did the politician start a band? To hit all the right notes with voters!

Why did the politician bring a football to the rally? To show he could pass!

What do you call a politician digging a hole? A flip-flopper!

Why did the politician become a beekeeper? He heard he could get a lot of buzz!

How did the politician fix his car? With a cabinet reshuffle!

Why was the politician always calm? He had a great sense of gerrymandering!

Why did the politician bring a thesaurus to the debate? To add more spin to his words!

Why was the politician a bad baseball player? He couldn't catch a single swing vote!

Why did the politician go to the barbershop? He heard they do great spin jobs!

How do politicians handle rejection? They have a strong defense mechanism!

Why did the politician open a bakery? He wanted to make more dough!

What's a politician's favorite kind of joke? A filibuster punchline!