Did you hear about the mummy who won first place in the marathon? He was all wrapped up in it.

Why did the clock get kicked out of the library? It was too loud.

I'm trying to write a book on birds, but I'm still hawk-watching.

I'm reading a book on mirrors, it's quite reflective.

I'm trying to write a book on carpentry, but I keep hitting a wall.

I'm trying to write a book on wind turbines, but it's an uphill battle.

I'm writing a book on elevators, it's an uplifting read.

The famous chef was arrested for stealing kitchen utensils. It was a whisk he was willing to take.

I was fired from the orange juice factory because I couldn't concentrate.

I'm reading a book on reverse psychology. I hope people don't like it.

The magician was walking down the road and then he turned into a driveway.

I told a pun about bicycles, but it was two-tired.

I told a pun about paper, but it's tearable.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

What's the scariest plant? Bamboo!

The magician got a job in the construction industry because he was good at disappearing things.

I used to be a baker but was terrible at raising dough.

Why did the baseball player go to jail? He stole a base.

Randomly throwing a boomerang is a hit and miss.

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

I would tell you a joke about the ocean, but it's too current.