I'm friends with all of the ocean creatures, except for the allergic ones.

I tried to become a chiropractor, but I couldn't adjust to the pressure.

I wanted to start a band with vegetables, but it didn't seem to produce any results.

I used to be a magician, but I disappeared before I could make a living.

I tried to open a shoe store with no inventory, but it was soleless.

I wanted to become a comedian, but I couldn't stand up to the competition.

I used to be a carpenter, but I nailed every job.

I thought about becoming a candle maker, but I didn't have the wick.

I wanted to start a lemonade stand, but it was too sour of a deal.

I attempted to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage, but I lost my case.

I thought about buying a pocket calculator, but I couldn't count on it.

I wanted to be a court jester, but I couldn't find the right clown school.

I used to be a butcher, but I backed out because I couldn't make the cut.

I tried to start a bakery with only rye bread, but it didn't pan out.

I attempted to organize a space-themed party, but it was out of this world.

I thought about opening a bakery on the moon, but there wouldn't be enough space.

I wanted to learn about the history of sandpaper but couldn't smooth things over.

I'm currently in training to become a candle maker. It's an enlightening experience.

I was going to tell a joke about sodium and hydrogen, but NAH.

I had a fear of hurdles, but I finally got a leg over it.

I'm friends with a guy who's a talented baker. He really takes the cake.