I used to work for a gingerbread man, but he kept losing his head.

I tried to steal a painting from the Louvre. But it was framed.

I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but they fired me for taking days off.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough puff pastry.

I'm reading a book on photocopiers. It's a real page-turner.

I'm reading a book on elevators. It's an uplifting read.

Why did the student sit on an alarm clock? He wanted to be on time.

I'm friends with the entire alphabet, but X and Z are always fighting.

I'm reading a book on volcanoes. It's erupting with information.

Why did the math book get in a fight? It just couldn't count on anyone.

I'm friends with all the letters of the alphabet, but I have beef with the letter B.

I'm studying a book on earthquakes. It's quite shocking.

I was reading a book on anti-gravity. It had me up all night.

I'm reading a book on teleportation. I'll keep you posted.

I'm reading a book on the history of dragons. It's about time.

I'm reading a book on the psychology of shops. It's buyer beware.

I used to be an astronaut, but I couldn't land the space puns.

I dreamt I was a firefighter, but I couldn't extinguish the fire of bad puns.

I wanted to be a detective, but I couldn't solve the mystery of good jokes.

I used to be a mathematician, but I couldn't count on my pun skills.

I wanted to be a farmer, but I couldn't crop up with good puns.