I tried counting sheep to fall asleep, but it was too baaaaad.

I'm friends with a gardener, but they're always so shady.

I'm friends with a lot of gardeners. We have great plant jokes.

I'm friends with a lot of people who work at the gym. We have a great workout relationship.

I'm friends with a lot of English majors. We have great syntax.

I used to be a photographer, but it didn't focus well with me.

I'm friends with a lot of math teachers. We have great counting chemistry.

I'm friends with a lot of archaeologists. We have great digging humor.

Why was the broom late? It swept in at the last moment.

I used to be a baker, but I kneaded a change of career.

I told a joke about time-travel, but it wasn't timely.

Why did the scarecrow become a stand-up comedian? It had a talent for corny jokes.

I'm friends with a bookshelf. It's very supportive.

I tried to organize a hide and seek competition, but it was a hideous disaster.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't handle the sprout of the problem.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his scare-a.

I'm friends with a compass. It always points me in the right direction.

I told my boss a joke about construction, but it didn't build any rapport.

I'm writing a book on the history of diseases, but it's spreading slowly.

I told a joke about deep-sea diving, but it didn't land well.

Why was the math book so sad? It had too many equation comebacks.