I'm friends with a tree because they're always rooting for me.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't find the right soil.

Why do skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

Why did one tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

Why don't some actors take a break? They have to cast all the time.

Why can't snowmen play poker? They always melt under pressure.

How do you organize a bug race? You whisker away.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

What's a tree's favorite social media platform? Timber.

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was un-stable.

I tripped on my dictionary and fell into thesaurus.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't handle the double shift.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make the doughnuts light enough.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't handle the early hours.

I'm friends with a baker because he always has a loaf - I mean, laugh - ready.

I'm reading a book on odd numbers. It's really not as even as you'd think.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't handle the mixer.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make the cakes fluffy enough.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't handle the batch size.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make the icing stick.

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make the pastries flaky enough.