I used to be a tennis instructor, but it wasn't my racket.

I'm friends with an artist. He's always drawing me in.

I used to be a tailor, but I couldn't hem the pressure.

I used to be a carpenter, but I hit wood too hard.

I'm friends with a chef. He really knows how to stir things up.

I'm friends with a clockmaker. He's always got me tickled pink.

I used to be a shoe salesman, but I couldn't heel the deal.

I'm friends with a magician. He always has a few tricks up his sleeve.

I'm a big fan of whiteboards, I find them quite re-markable.

I used to be a butcher, but I backed out.

I'm friends with a clockmaker. He's always keeping me in check.

I used to be an elevator operator, but I got laid off.

I used to be a pilot, but my career never really took off.

I'm friends with an electrician. He always keeps me grounded.

Why did the math book stop going to therapy? It didn't want to work through its problems

Why did the math book refuse to talk about its feelings? It didn't want to face its problems

Why did the math book decide to open a bakery? It kneaded a change

Why did the math book start exercising? It needed to work through its problems

What did the math book say to the self-help book? I have too many issues

Did you hear about the gardener who ran a marathon? He took a plant for a run

I used to be a ghostwriter, but I couldn't handle the spirits