Why did the burglar hang his hide and seek medal on the wall? He wanted to show he was good at something.

Why was the calendar always scolded? It kept skipping days.

Why was the calendar stressed? It had too many dates to remember.

Why was the math book up all night? It had too many problems.

Why don't some couples workout? Because some relationships don't work out.

I'm currently working on a screenplay about puns. It's a play on words.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I'll never forget you.

I'm currently writing a book about poltergeists. It's really haunting me.

The frustrated cannibal threw up his hands.

I used to be an artist, but I couldn't draw enough attention, so I became a comedian.

Why did the moon quit its job? Because it was always full.

I told a joke about rivers, but it didn't flow well.

I used to be a tailor, but I wasn't suited for the job so I changed careers.

I told a joke about plants, but it fell flat.

Why did the refrigerator go to school? It wanted to be cool in class.

I used to be a writer, but I couldn't find the right words, so now I'm silent.

I told a joke about light, but nobody saw the humor.

Why did the comedy club go out of business? It just didn't have the right material.

I told a joke about stairs, but it never landed.

I used to be a gardener, but I couldn't dig it, so I planted a new idea.

I told a joke about shoes, but it didn't fit well.