My girlfriend asked for a diamond for our anniversary. So I gave her a deck of cards and told her to find the diamonds.

Why did the bee break up with the flower? It found a sweeter bloom.

Why did the sailor break up with his anchor? It was weighing him down.

My boyfriend said he wanted a little space. So I bought him a tiny planet.

Why did the demolition expert break up with his girlfriend? She kept blowing up at him.

Why did the florist break up with his girlfriend? He wanted to branch out.

I asked my husband if he wanted to hear a joke about the heart. He said it would be too heart-breaking.

Why did the strawberry file for a divorce? It couldn't find the berry right partner.

Why did the computer break up with the smartphone? It found it too touchy.

Why did the musician break up with his bass guitar? It kept fretting about the past.

My boyfriend said he wanted a romantic night under the stars. So I locked him out of the house.

Why did the chef break up with his blender? It couldn't handle the whirlwind romance.

Why did the couple decide to break up at the park? They wanted to leave on a swing set.

What did the grape say to the raisin? 'Stop being so dried up, we're in a healthy relationship.'

What did the ocean say to the beach? 'I'm shore we're in a long-term relationship.'

Why did the man bring a spoon on his date? He wanted to show his crush he was 'spooning' material.

Why did the man bring his guitar on the date? To serenade his crush and strike a chord in their relationship.

Why did the couple go apple picking? They wanted to make sure their relationship was 'a-peel-ing.'

What did the peanut say to the peanut butter? 'We stick together like a healthy relationship.'

Why did the kleptomaniac break up with his girlfriend? He kept stealing her heart.

I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a newspaper. He said, 'No, I'm the only news you need.'