Why did the comedian break up with his partner? They couldn't find a rhythm for their jokes.

Why did the tree break up with the bush? It needed more space to grow.

I asked my husband if he wanted to go on a date to the park. He said, 'Sure, but I make no guarantees about not falling asleep on the bench.'

I told my girlfriend she should do more yoga. She asked if sitting on the couch in a yoga pose counted.

Why did the couple go to therapy? They couldn't seem to see eye to eye.

I told my boyfriend he should do more cardio. He said, 'Why? Do you have a new boyfriend in mind?'

Why did the relationship end between the two vegans? They couldn't find common ground.

I asked my wife if we could have a game night. She told me to set up the Scrabble board and leave her alone.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Sometimes you have to find the X to figure out Y.

I only have eyes for you... and WiFi.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I do it by husband.

Why did the scarecrow break up with the cornstalk? It was too ears-y to impress.

Why was the little strawberry upset? Because his parents were in a jam.

Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend? She was too money-minded for him.

Why did the wrestler break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his wrestling moves.

Why did the mathematician break up with his girlfriend? She was always dividing their attention.

Why did the carpenter break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his woodwork.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? She needed space, and he needed gravity in their relationship.

Why did the gardener break up with his girlfriend? She was too weedy for him.

Why did the mechanic break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his tools.

Why did the basketball player break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his rebounds.