I told my girlfriend she should learn to juggle. Now she's juggling multiple relationships.

Why did the book and the bookmark break up? They just couldn't find their place together.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, 'A romantic getaway to the fridge.'

Why did the math book and the English book break up? They couldn't agree on the definition of a perfect relationship.

Why did the burger and the bun break up? They just couldn't ketchup anymore.

I told my wife she should do exercises for her arms. Now she's single.

Why did the glove break up with the hand? It couldn't handle the commitment.

How do you know when you're in a serious relationship with a baker? They always want to knead things out.

Why did the sea break up with the beach? It needed more space.

My wife asked me why I carry a ladder around. I said, 'In case things start to get too high maintenance.'

Why did the broom break up with the dustpan? It felt swept under the rug too often.

I told my husband we should go camping this weekend. He said, 'I don't know, that sounds in-tents.'

Why did the scissors break up with the tape dispenser? They got too tangled up in each other's lives.

I asked my boyfriend to make me a sandwich. He said, 'Poof, you're a sandwich.'

Why did the sun and the moon break up? They were just going through a phase.

I told my wife she should learn CPR. Now I'm not sure if she's saving our relationship or trying to end it.

Why did the bread and the butter break up? They were always spreading rumors about each other.

Why did the hammer break up with the nail? It just couldn't handle the hits anymore.

I told my girlfriend she should treat me like a book. She asked why. I said, 'So you can open me up and really get into my story.'

Why did the broom break up with the mop? They were constantly sweeping their problems under the rug.

What do you call a bear who loves to cuddle? A hugger bear.