What did the blanket say to the sheet? You cover me like no one else.

Why did the pencil and the paper never break up? They had a strong bond.

Why did the couple break up on the dance floor? They couldn't find their rhythm.

Did you hear about the musician who broke up with his guitar? It just wasn't in tune with his feelings.

Why did the gardener break up with the flowers? They were too 'petal-ing'.

What did the clock say to the watch? Don't watch me, watch TV.

Why did the lamp break up with the light bulb? It was always burned out.

Why did the tree break up with the leaves? It wanted some space.

Did you hear about the chef who broke up with the oven? It was too hot to handle.

Why did the train break up with the tracks? It needed some time to find itself.

What did the pillow say to the blanket? I've got your back.

Why did the cell phone break up with the GPS? It was too controlling.

I told my wife she should wear more color. So she started seeing a therapist.

Why did the astronaut break up with his spaceship? He needed some space.

I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for his birthday. He said 'You, forever'. Looks like he'll be disappointed.

My girlfriend said I need to be more mysterious. So now I only speak in riddles.

Why did the gardener break up with his partner? They just couldn't see eye to stye.

Why do tennis players make terrible partners? They're always serving up faults.

I told my wife she should take up a hobby. She started collecting dust.

Why did the cell phone go to couples therapy? It had too many communication issues.

Why do vampires make great partners? They'll always be your eternal love.