What did the trampoline say to its partner? Stop bouncing around and commit!

Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It felt like their days were numbered.

Why did the romance novelist break up with her calculator? It just couldn't add up.

Why did the couple go to the therapist's office? They had too many issues.

Why did the woman bring a ladder to her date? She heard he had a high IQ.

Why did the couple go to the barbershop on their first date? They wanted to make the cut together!

What did the farmer say to his wife when he forgot their anniversary? 'I've been a little hoe-moaner, sorry dear!'

Why did the chef break up with the bread? It was too kneady!

What did the travel guide say about dating a volcano? 'It's a hot relationship, but it might blow up in your face!'

Why did the computer file for divorce? It had too many viruses!

What did the pirate say on his dating profile? 'I'm looking for someone who can handle my booty!'

Why did the smartphone break up with the charger? It was getting too clingy!

What's a skeleton's favorite pickup line? 'Hey, can I give you a hand?'

Why did the banker break up with his lover? They were no longer making deposits in their relationship!

Why did the pillow file a police report? It was stuffed with evidence!

Why did the man propose to his girlfriend with a potato? Because he wanted to pop the question.

Why did the wife bring a pencil to bed? She heard they should draw closer.

Why do couples like to go to the gym together? Because they want their relationship to work out.

Why did the man bring a map on his date? He heard he should navigate the conversation.

Why did the couple go to the dentist's office? They wanted to floss around.

Why did the woman bring a book on her date? She wanted to read between the lines.