Why did the scientist break up with his calculator? It just wasn't adding up.

Why did the musician break up with his metronome? It was always controlling the tempo.

I told my wife she should be more adventurous. So she took up skydiving – without a parachute.

Why did the comedian break up with his girlfriend? She didn't understand his timing.

I tried to write a romantic poem for my wife, but I accidentally ended up writing a grocery list.

I told my boyfriend he should be more in touch with his feminine side. Now he won't stop shopping online.

I told my husband I wanted to feel like we were on our honeymoon again. So he started ignoring me.

Why did the book break up with the library? It felt like it was being checked out too often.

Why did the coffee break up with the donut? It felt like it was getting too dunked on.

Why did the math book and the history book break up? Because they had too many problems.

Do you want a gym membership? Because I'm crushing on you!

Why did the barber win an award? Because he knew how to clip the competition!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Why did the cactus break up with his girlfriend? She was too prickly.

What did the ghost say to his girlfriend? You look boo-tiful tonight!

Why did the wedding cake go to the doctor? It needed a little icing!

Why did the man break up with his baker girlfriend? She kept loafing around.

What do you call two antenna who met on a rooftop? Star-crossed lovers.

Why did the cheese break up with the ham? It was too smelly.

Why did the gym close down its relationship counseling? Too many broken hearts.

Why did the man put on a tuxedo to propose? He wanted a formal affair.