My boyfriend proposed to me with a diamond ring in a crowded restaurant. It was so touching, I decided to say yes to the waiter who asked if I wanted dessert.

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go on a romantic trip. She said she'd rather go on a shopping spree.

My wife told me she wants me to be more romantic. So I bought her a toaster for our anniversary.

Why did the guy break up with the calendar? He couldn't handle all the dates.

I asked my husband if he believes in marriage counseling. He said, 'I'll believe it when I see it.'

Why did the grape refuse to go out on a date? It didn't want to wine and dine.

My girlfriend said she wants a fairy-tale romance. So I locked her in a tower and hoped for a happy ending.

Why did the chef break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle any more seasoning in the relationship.

I asked my wife if she believes in fate. She said, 'Of course, that's why I fate you to take out the garbage.'

My girlfriend told me she needs some space. So I locked her outside the house.

Why did the man go to the hardware store after a fight with his wife? He wanted to mend the relationship.

I asked my wife if she likes to be surprised. She said yes, so I hid her phone charger.

Why did the mathematician break up with his girlfriend? She kept dividing their time together.

My boyfriend said he wants a break. So I broke his favorite video game console.

My girlfriend said she wanted a break, so I gave her a Kit-Kat.

My husband complained that I never listen to him...or something like that.

Why did the French fries break up with the burger? They needed some space.

I told my wife she should do yoga to relax. She said stretching the truth is enough exercise for her.

My girlfriend said she needed more space...so I locked her outside.

Why did the couple go to therapy? They couldn't find the perfect match.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go to a fancy restaurant, she said she prefers fast food because at least it's honest.