Why did the man propose to the calendar? Because he wanted to make a date.

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated when I die. She insisted on having me buried. She said, 'That way, I can visit you every day.'

Why don't skeletons date? Because they don't have the guts.

I used to play piano for my girlfriend, but she told me she wanted something more grand. So now I play the grand piano.

Why did the woman break up with the baker? Because he was too kneady.

I told my husband I wanted a second honeymoon. He asked, 'Was the first one not enough to make you sick of me?'

Why did the romantic wifi break up with its lover? It just couldn't connect anymore.

I asked my boyfriend if he was a good catch. He replied, 'Well, I'm hooked on you, aren't I?'

My wife complains that she's always the last to know things. She says it's like she's married to a secret agent.

Why don't scientists trust relationships? Because they're always changing, just like the weather.

Did you hear about the mathematician who broke up with his girlfriend? He said she was too ² for him.

What do you call an engagement ring in Russia? A Soviet Ring, much like my grandparents’ love story.

I asked my wife if she thought I was mature. She said, “Definitely not!”

Why did the ghost go to couples therapy? To boo-st its relationship.

I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to work out together. He said he already works out — he lifts the remote.

I told my husband we should go to a stand-up comedy show. He said, “I don’t need to pay to see my jokes at home.”

Why did the man bring a loaf of bread to the wedding? He wanted to toast to the happy couple.

What did the tie say to the hat rack? Hang in there, buddy.

Why did the cell phone break up with the charger? It was always getting a charge out of something else.

Why did the man propose to the pencil? He couldn't erase the feeling he had for it.

What did the calculator say to the pencil? You can count on me to write our love story.