Why did the toothbrush break up with the toothpaste? It was tired of all the foaming at the mouth.

Why did the broom break up with the dustpan? It wanted space to sweep around.

Why did the piano break up with the violin? They just weren't in harmony.

Why did the banana break up with the orange? It just couldn't peel the love anymore.

Why did the scarecrow break up with his girlfriend? She was outstanding in her field but he was just straw away from finding someone better.

Why did the belt break up with the pants? It couldn't hold up its end of the relationship.

Why did the computer break up with the internet? It couldn't handle the bandwidth.

Why did the woman break up with the skeleton? He didn't have the guts.

Why did the woman break up with the dentist? He was always flossing around.

My girlfriend said I never take her anywhere fun. So I took her to the hardware store.

Why did the man propose to the iceberg? He wanted a cool marriage.

Why did the woman break up with the tree? It kept barking up the wrong branch.

My girlfriend said she wanted a picture of a spider. So I got her a web designer.

I used to be in a band called Missing Cat. You probably saw our posters.

Why did the man get a date with the bakery? He kneaded her.

My girlfriend said she wanted to try role-playing, so I played dead.

Why did the man break up with the ocean? It kept waving at other people.

My wife said she's leaving me because of my obsession with astrology. I can't believe this is happening.

Why did the woman put her phone on airplane mode? She wanted a relationship to take off.

Why did the man propose to the cheese? It was love at first bite.

My girlfriend said she needs space. I told her to move to the left.