Why did the man propose to his shoes? He wanted to start their journey on the right foot.

My wife told me to stop flirting with other women. I told her, 'I'm sorry, I didn't even realize you were a woman.'

I asked my girlfriend if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me doing the laundry.

I told my wife she should do yoga to reduce stress. She said, 'I'll do what's in my stress-tolerance range.'

Why did the math book look at the mirror? He had too many problems to solve.

Why did the man propose to his alarm clock? He wanted to wake up with a ring.

Why did the man propose to his calculator? He can't count on anyone else.

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Coldplay songs on the piano. I said, 'Don't worry, I'll fix you.'

Why did the man propose to his treadmill? He wanted a lifelong commitment to exercise.

I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me washing the dishes.

Why did the man propose to his shoes? He wanted to tie the knot.

Why did the man propose to his shoes? He wanted to put his best foot forward.

My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess. So I gave her a tiara and made her rule over a small imaginary kingdom.

Why did the man propose to his shoes? He wanted to take a step towards commitment.

I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes - about me gardening.

Why did the man propose to his shoes? He wanted to walk down the aisle.

Why did the man propose to his shoes? He wanted to show he was soul-mates with his sole-mates.

I asked my girlfriend if we could go on a romantic getaway. She said, 'I'm down, but only if it's first class.'

Why did the man propose to his shoes? He wanted to take a soleful step forward.

My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more adventurous. So I planned a trip to the grocery store without making a list first.

I used to play piano by ear, now I play it by my wife.