Why did the woman bring a flashlight on her date? She wanted to shed some light on the relationship.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about bees. She said 'buzz off'.

Why did the man bring a kite on his date? He wanted the relationship to soar.

My boyfriend said he wanted to add some excitement to our relationship. So I gave him a vacuum and a duster.

Why did the woman bring a pillow on her date? She wanted to cushion the conversation.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about plants. She said 'leaf me alone'.

Why did the woman propose to the baker? She wanted a sweet marriage!

My boyfriend said he wanted to play doctor. So I sent him a bill afterwards.

Why did the man start dating his internet router? They had a good connection.

My girlfriend told me she was breaking up with me because I'm too obsessed with astronomy. It's not the end of the world.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about fishing. She said 'reel me in'.

My girlfriend said she wanted a man who could surprise her. So I sold our house without telling her.

Why did the man propose to the dentist? He wanted to seal the deal.

Why did the light bulb break up with the socket? It couldn't handle the pressure.

Why did the couple go to the gym on their first date? They wanted to work out their relationship.

Why did the book go to couples therapy? It had commitment issues.

I told my wife she should make her own wine. She said I should make my own dinner.

Why did the man propose to the ocean? He knew it would make a splash.

My girlfriend said she wanted a man who could make her toes curl. So I bought her a foot massager.

Why did the man break up with his date at the seafood restaurant? She was too shellfish.

I asked my wife if I was the man of her dreams. She said no, but I'm definitely a nightmare.