I told my girlfriend she should be the yin to my yang. She said she's more of a zigzag.

Why did the musician break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his chord changes.

I told my girlfriend she should be the coffee to my cream. She said she's more of a tea.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? She was always spacing out.

Why did the math teacher break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't figure out the relationship.

Why did the artist break up with his girlfriend? He couldn't draw her in.

Why did the bee break up with the flower? It was tired of all the pollen

Why did the gym trainer break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his reps.

I told my girlfriend she should do sit-ups to stay in shape. That's when she sat up and left.

Why did the gardener break up with his girlfriend? She was always digging up the past.

I asked my wife if she believes in time travel. She said yes, every time she looks at her wrinkles.

Why did the golfer break up with his girlfriend? She was always putting around.

I told my wife she should plant kisses on me to grow our relationship. She rolled her eyes.

Why did the lion break up with his girlfriend? She was always lion around.

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to watch a movie about construction. She said she would only go if it's a tearjerker.

Why did the fish break up with his girlfriend? She was too flaky.

I told my girlfriend she should hug me to strengthen our bond. She said she prefers handcuffs.

Why did the bicycle break up with his girlfriend bike? She couldn't handle his two-tired attitude.

I told my wife she should do more cardio. She said, "Like credit card spending?"

Why did the man break up with his treadmill? The relationship wasn't going anywhere.

My girlfriend said she wanted to be with someone who is more spontaneous. So I bought her a book on improv.