My girlfriend said she wanted a pet fish. So I got her a nice tuna sandwich.

Why did the snowman go on a date with the snowwoman? He was hoping for a flakey relationship.

My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess. So I made her clean the house and cook for me.

Why was the relationship between the number 6 and the number 9 so bad? Because they had too many ups and downs.

I told my husband I'm leaving him because he keeps pretending to be a detective. I said, 'I know you're not a real detective.' He said, 'How can you be so sure? Maybe I'm just waiting for the right moment to solve the case.'

My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm too reliant on technology. I sent her a message to apologize, but she never received it.

Why did the pizza break up with the crust? It couldn't handle the topping.

I told my wife she should switch to decaf. She didn't take it well.

Why did the scarecrow break up with his girlfriend? She was outstanding in her field.

I told my husband I needed more space. He said I should download more RAM.

My girlfriend wanted me to wear a turtleneck to dinner. I said I couldn't, it was too much of a choke risk.

Why do mathematicians never break up? They work things out.

My girlfriend told me I was terrible at directions. So I packed up my stuff and right.

Why did the engineer break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his baggage.

Why did the tree break up with his girlfriend? She was always barking up the wrong tree.

I told my girlfriend she should be the Robin to my Batman. She said she's more of a Catwoman.

Why did the pilot break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his altitude.

Why did the owl break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his night shifts.

I told my girlfriend she should be the peanut butter to my jelly. She said she's more of a Nutella.

Why did the firefighter break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his burning passion.

Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't handle his boo-tiful personality.