I told my husband he should be more romantic. So he bought me a power drill to show he's nuts about me.

Why did the woman break up with the baker? She was tired of his half-baked excuses.

Why did the man bring a ladder to his date? He heard the girl was looking for a guy who is well-grounded.

Why do programmers prefer relationships to be FIFO? First In, First Out.

What do you call a relationship that's all about honesty? A clear case of 'no PRISM'.

How do you know you're dating a physicist? The relationship is quantitatively confirmed to be attractive.

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of commitment? He had a fear of decimationships.

Why did the bicycle fall over in the relationship marathon? It couldn't handle the emotional baggage.

Why did the balloon break up with the needle? It couldn't handle the constant poking.

I asked my wife why do women live longer than men. She told me men don't get as many opportunities.

My wife said she wants a divorce because I'm too childish. So I took the crayons and went to my room.

My girlfriend said she's leaving me due to my obsession with astronomy. What planet is she living on?

I told my wife she looks dazzling. She says it's the tablecloth reflection on her.

I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, and she said yes. It was the dream she had where I took out the trash.

Why do programmers prefer relationships to be hexadecimal? Because they tend to get too attached.

Why did the man break up with his shoelaces? They were always tying him down.

My girlfriend said she wanted to break up on good terms. So I made sure to use Helvetica font in the breakup letter.

Why did the man bring a dictionary on his date? He wanted to find the definition of love.

Why did the man break up with his smartphone? He couldn't handle the apps-surdity of it all.

My girlfriend told me she needed some space. So I locked her out of the house.

Why did the couple break up at the airport? Their relationship never really took off.