I told my husband he should take up gardening to grow our love. Now we have relationship tomatoes.

How did the phone propose to the charger? It said, 'You charge me up like no one else.'

Why did the baker go on a date with the timer? They wanted to see if they were a perfect match.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go to the orchard. She said she preferred our apple-lationship at home.

My girlfriend said she needs time and distance. So I locked her out of the house.

Why did the man bring a pencil to his date? To draw her attention.

I told my wife she should do squats to stay in shape. That way she can keep her assets in check.

Why did the couple go to the therapist? Because they had a communication issue… they weren't on speaking terms.

I told my boyfriend we should experiment more in the bedroom. He brought me a chemistry set.

Why did the computer break up with the internet? There were too many unresolved issues.

Why did the woman break up with the grape? Because it was raisin all the wrong flags.

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to dance. She turned and ran.

Why did the wife bring a pencil to bed? To draw the line.

I used to date a tennis player but love meant nothing to her.

Why did the couple go to Lowe's before their date? They heard love was in aisle 7.

Why did the man break up with the calendar? He dated it for too long.

Why did the man propose to his alarm clock? He couldn't resist its alarm-ing personality.

My girlfriend said she needs more space. So I bought her a telescope.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Because he wanted cold hard cash.

Why did the boy sit on the clock during his date? He wanted to be on time.

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird? Let's make some tweets together.