I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go on a date to the beach. She said, 'I'm already feeling a little sandy about us.'

Why did the woman break up with the baker? She was tired of his half-baked ideas.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go on a date to the library. She said, 'I've already checked out.'

Why did the man break up with his tie? It was too 'binding' of a relationship.

My girlfriend said she wanted to break up in a crowded place. So I took her to Times Square.

Why did the couple break up at the dentist? They couldn't bridge the gap in their relationship.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go on a date to the amusement park. She said, 'I'm already on a rollercoaster with you.'

Why did the man break up with his bread? It was too 'crumby' for his taste.

My boyfriend said he needed some 'me time.' So I changed his contact name to 'Me Time' in my phone.

Why did the woman break up with the singer? He couldn't hit the right notes with her heart.

I asked my wife if she wanted to play Monopoly. She said, 'I'm tired of your get-out-of-jail-free card.'

Why did the man break up with his shoes? They were always dragging him down.

My girlfriend said she needed some air. So I turned on the fan and said, 'Is that better?'

Why did the couple break up at the park? They couldn't swing back into love.

Why did the man bring a map on his date? He was afraid of losing his way to her heart.

My boyfriend said I should stop wearing a watch. I asked him why. He said, 'Because there's no time like the present.'

Why did the woman break up with the peanut butter? It was too 'nutty' for her taste.

Why did the man break up with his vacuum cleaner? It wasn't picking up after him.

Why did the man propose at a coffee shop? He wanted it to bean special.

I told my wife she should do yoga to find inner peace. Now she's mad because I bought her a goat.

My wife said she wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. So I bought her a taco costume.