My boyfriend said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

Why did the tree break up with the lumberjack? It couldn't handle being chopped down anymore.

I asked my husband if he remembers when he proposed. He said yes, that's why he hasn't done it again.

Why did the man propose to the cheese? He found it very 'gouda'.

I asked my husband if he remembers our wedding day. He said he'll never forget the day he lost his freedom.

My girlfriend accused me of being a transphobic. I told her that's a big word for a 10-year-old.

Why did the man break up with the bottle of glue? It was too clingy.

My girlfriend told me I'm hopeless at fixing appliances. Well, she's in for a shock.

I asked my husband what he saw in me. He said an empty bank account.

Why did the painter break up with his canvas? It didn't feel like a masterpiece.

Why did the sword break up with the shield? It felt like it was always being used as protection.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go on a romantic camping trip. She said, 'I'll pass, I prefer to sleep in my own bed.'

Why did the tree break up with the bush? It felt rooted in place.

My boyfriend said he wanted to take a break from our relationship, so I bought him a Kit Kat.

Why did the artist break up with his muse? He couldn't draw inspiration from her anymore.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go to the zoo. She said, 'I've already seen enough animals.'

Why did the owl break up with the squirrel? They just couldn't see eye to eye.

Why did the hammer break up with the nail? It felt hammered down.

Why did the football player break up with his cheerleader girlfriend? He didn't want to be tackled down.

My girlfriend said she wanted a man who could handle spicy food. So I bought her a fire extinguisher.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go on a romantic gondola ride. She said, 'I'll pass, I prefer to keep my paddle to myself.'