Why did the romantic ghost break up with his ghost girlfriend? He couldn't handle the long-distance haunting.

What did the grape say to its suitor? 'I like you bunches.'

Why did the couple break up at the baseball game? They both wanted to be the pitcher.

I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape, but that's just really a big step forward.

Why did the mattress break up with the pillow? It couldn't handle the pillow's softness.

Why did the romantic ghost join a dating site? He wanted to find his boo.

I told my wife she should do more cardio, so now she runs away every time I make a joke.

Why did the crayon break up with the pencil? It just couldn't draw the line anymore.

I told my wife she should do more squats, now she won't stop telling me her butt is sore.

Why did the balloon break up with the clown? It just wanted a little space.

Why did the pen break up with the paper? It felt like their relationship was stationery.

I tried to propose to my girlfriend with a kite, but I couldn't string together the right words.

Why did the scissors break up with the tape? It felt like their relationship was getting too sticky.

I asked my wife if she wanted to hear a joke about time travel, but she said she already knew the punchline.

I bought my wife a fridge for her birthday. You should've seen her face light up when she opened it.

My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So now I wake her up every morning with a hug.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. You always look at your X and wonder Y.

I told my wife she shouldn't worry about getting older, she should celebrate it. She got me a 'Happy 50th Birthday' card.

Marrying a tennis player is a good idea. Love means nothing to them.

Why did the sculpture break up with the painter? They couldn't find a solid foundation for their relationship.

Why did the photographer break up with the model? They couldn't focus on each other.