What did the light bulb say to its partner? 'You light up my life.'

Why did the music teacher go to jail? For hitting a high note.

Why do scientists prefer to date each other? They have great chemistry.

Why did the chicken break up with the duck? It couldn't handle the fowl language.

Why did the baker go on a date with the dough? They kneaded each other.

What did one magnet say to the other magnet on their date? I find you very attractive.

How did the phone propose to the charger? It said, 'I feel a real connection with you.'

Why did the sock break up with the shoe? It couldn't handle the smell.

What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newly webs.

Why did the grape stop dating? It couldn't find a raisin to commit.

Why did the musician break up with the metronome? They were out of sync.

Why did the inventor propose to his assistant? He wanted a wife with real tech know-how.

What did the paper say to the pencil? 'You complete me.'

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher? There was no chemistry.

Why did the broom break up with the mop? It said, 'You're always sweeping me off my feet.'

Why did the clock break up with the calendar? They just didn't have enough time for each other.

Why did the salad go on a date with the notebook? It wanted to be dressed up.

Why did the candle break up with the match? It just couldn't handle the heat.

What did the lamp say to the outlet? 'You light up my world.'

My girlfriend asked me to stop singing Wonderwall. I said, maybeeee.

My boyfriend said he wanted to have a spontaneous date night. So I took him to the emergency room.