Why did the tomato blush on its date? It saw the salad dressing and got saucy.

Why did the musician break up with his girlfriend? She kept flat out ignoring him.

What did the grape do when it got proposed to? It let out a little wine and said, 'I'll raisin-ably consider it.'

Why did the archaeologist break up with his girlfriend? She was too dusty about the past.

Why did the refrigerator break up with the freezer? It was tired of getting the cold shoulder.

Why did the baker break up with his girlfriend? She couldn't take a crumb of criticism.

What did the pillow say to the blanket? 'I love you a comfortable amount.'

Why did the tailor break up with his girlfriend? She kept needling him about his flaws.

Why did the window break up with the door? It wanted a room with a better view.

Why did the tree break up with the sun? It was growing too shady.

Why did the bee break up with the flower? It found a sweeter deal elsewhere.

Why did the man bring a ladder to his date? He heard it was going to be a high-level meeting.

Why did the woman break up with the grape? It was always raisin concerns.

What do you call a married man with no kids? Nokidding Johnson.

Why did the fish break up with the octopus? It was too clingy.

Why did the couple go to therapy? Their relationship was on the rocks.

Why did the grape stop dating? Because it couldn't find a raisin to stay.

Why did the romantic snail buy a new car? So he could take his love interest for a spin.

What do you call a bear who has no dating skills? Absolutely unbearable.

Why did the music teacher break up with the conductor? They couldn't find the right rhythm.

Why do bicycles make great partners? They're wheely reliable.