What's a nun's favorite brand of chips? Our Lay's of Guadalupe.

What's a Catholic's favorite salad dressing? Holy vinaigrette.

Why was the priest confused at the salad bar? He thought the croutons were God's little miracles.

What do you call a holy man in a bee costume? Friar Buzz.

Why did the rabbi go to the doctor? He was Hebrew-ing up blood.

Why was Noah the best businessman in the Bible? He knew how to float his stock.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a priest? Frosty communion.

Why did the Zen Buddhist refuse to vacuum? Because he didn't want to get attached to the dirt.

What's a priest's favorite type of soup? Celibacy.

How did the Mennonite get a promotion? He Amish-ed the competition.

Why did the ghost refuse to haunt the church? It couldn't get into the spirit.

What do you call a praying mantis who plays piano? A hymnalist.

Why did the monk refuse to play dodgeball? He didn't want to hit nirvana.

Why did the priest go to school? He wanted to improve his sermons.

What do you call a contagious religion? A preach.

Why do vampires love church bells? They help them get to the next service on time.

Why did the cowboy go to church? He wanted to get closer to the Holy Cow.

What do you call a holy man who likes to gossip? A padre whisperer.

What do you call a praying mantis who gives sermons? A preach-ing mantis.

What do you call a group of bullfighters in a circle? A round of applause.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a lemon? Sour snow.