Why did the football coach go to church? He wanted to improve his quarterback connection with God!

Why did the magician become a priest? He found a more magical connection with the divine!

Why couldn't the pirate find his treasure map? It was lost at sea-quel!

What do you call a cold religious leader? A chili bishop!

How does a priest invest his money? In church bonds!

Why did the farmer go to the religious retreat? He needed some divine intervention to grow his crops!

What do you call a monkey who loves to pray? An orang-utan of faith!

Why don't they play cards on Noah's Ark? Because Noah was always standing on the deck!

Why do angels always carry harps? Because guitars are too heavy!

How does a priest keep track of all his prayers? He uses a pray-er!

Why did the Dalai Lama refuse Novocaine at the dentist? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine for his root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication!

What game do little demons play with their friends? Hide and go shriek!

Why did the man quit his job at the church? He couldn't find any salvation in it.

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He doesn't believe in dog.

What do you get when you cross a nun with a detective? Sister Sleuth.

Why did the pastor become a tailor? To sew the seeds of faith.

Why did the pastor go into construction? To build a stronger congregation.

What do you call a nun with a beard? A sister-act.

Why did the pastor go to the barbershop? He wanted a 'holy' haircut.

Why was the bishop a good swimmer? Because he had strong 'holy' strokes.