Why don't scientists trust atoms with religious beliefs? Because they make up everything!

Why did the tomato turn red in church? Because it saw the salad dressing!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite from heaven!

What do you call a nun who sleepwalks and bakes bread? A roamin' Catholic.

Why did the monk refuse to eat steak? Because it was a missed steak.

How did the pirate become religious? He found the treasure map in the Bible.

Why do vegetarians never go to church? Because they don't like missionary position.

Why was the choir always out of tune? They couldn't find the right key!

Why did the skeleton go to church? Because it needed some body to pray for.

Why do vampires never attend church? They can't stand the sight of holy water.

Why did the scarecrow win an award for attending church? He was outstanding in his field.

Why did the cookie go to church with a bandage? It was feeling crumbly.

Why did the smartphone attend church? It couldn't find a good connection elsewhere.

Why did the squirrel bring acorns to church? It wanted to branch out.

Why do baseball players make good churchgoers? They're used to sliding into pews.

Why was the music teacher always late to church? He had trouble finding the right key.

What do you call a snowman who goes to church? A 'holy' frosty.

Why did the chicken start attending church? It had a calling for a higher 'pecking' order.

Why did the grape stop going to church? It couldn't 'wine'd its way around the pews.

Why did the baker attend church services? He kneaded some spiritual guidance.

Why did the astronaut bring a rocket to church? He wanted to pray for a safe launch.