What did the pastor say to the broken vacuum cleaner? Let us pray for suction!

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocain when he had a toothache? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the preacher go to the gym? To work on his soul muscles!

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A churchkey!

Why did the pastor bring a ladder to church? To raise the roof!

What do you call a religious quarterback? A prayerback!

What is a shark's favorite bible story? Noah's Shark!

Why don't aliens visit our planet? They heard it was heavily populated!

Why did the computer go to church? It had a lot of bytes!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite on Sunday!

What do you call a nun on the run? A roamin' Catholic!

Why did the choir start a band? They wanted to hit the high notes!

Why couldn't the bicycle find peace? It was two tired!

Why did the pastor carry a ladder? To take his ministry to the next level!

Why did the chicken join the church choir? Because it had the drumsticks!

What do you call a group of musical whales singing hymns? A choir of blubber.

How does a priest make his coffee? Hebrews it.

What did the Zen practitioner say to the hot dog vendor? 'Make me one with everything (but hold the onions).

Why did the nun get a job at the brewery? She had a calling for spirits.

What do you call a holy insect? A praying mantis.

Why did the Dalai Lama start a gardening business? He wanted to achieve inner peas.