Did you hear about the cell phone company owned by a priest? It offers a lot of divine connections.

Why do pilgrims make bad drummers? They're always off beat.

What do you call a bear with a Bible? A preacher bear.

How does one fish greet another in the holy pond? 'Holy mackerel!'

What do you call someone who steals church bells? A kleptorevangelist.

Why do monks make terrible chefs? Because they have too many 'missed' ingredients!

Why did the pastor carry a pen and paper to bed? In case he had a 'holy' revelation!

Why did the vampire convert to Christianity? He heard they have 'holy water'!

Why did the cowboy go to church? He heard they had a good 'hoedown'!

Why did the chicken join the Baptist church? To get 'baptized' in the Holy Spirit!

Why do ghosts love church so much? It's like a 'haunting' experience for them!

What's a priest's favorite type of music? Hymns and spirituals!

Why did the preacher go to the beach? To save some 'soul' searching!

Why did the pastor switch to decaf? He didn't want to 'espresso' himself too much!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite! And the second bite is for longer!

Why did the vampire convert to Christianity? He heard it was a life-changing experience.

I told a priest a joke about the Bible. He said it was a psalm-y joke.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.

Did you hear about the cannibal who was late to dinner? They gave him the cold shoulder.

What do witches put on their bagels? Scream cheese.

Why did the firefighter wear red suspenders? To keep his pants up.