Why did the grapevine start a church? It wanted to spread the good wine.

What do you call a sleep-deprived nun? A roamin' Catholic.

Why did the computer go to church? It had a virus and needed some bytes.

Why did the tomato go to church? Because it wanted to ketchup on its prayers.

Why do monks meditate? Because they can't afford to stress out.

Why did Noah go fishing? He needed to catch the ark-tic char.

What's a priest's favorite snack? Heavenly chips.

Why did the spider go to church? Because it was a web service.

Why do demons and ghouls get along so well? Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.

What do you call two sinners who just got married? A match made in heaven.

What do you call a group of eagles meeting for a service? A pray-gle!

Why did the vegetable start attending church? It wanted to turnip for salvation!

Why don't demons like to attend church? They hate holy water!

What do you call a fairy tale about a nun? A Sister Story!

Why was the church so crowded on Halloween? They were hosting a spirit service!

Why did the nun always carry a ruler? To keep the sinners in line!

Why did the psychic open a church? To have a congregation of believers!

What do you call a nun who's a musician? A sister act!

Why was the cowboy always welcome in church? He was good at lassoing in the sinners!

What do you call a flying nun? A high-flying sister!

Why was the book of Job always weary? It had too many trials!