Why do angels always carry lighters? In case they need to burn some midnight oil.

What did the devil say to the priest? You better be-hell-prepared for my temptations.

Why did the turtle become a monk? To find some inner shell-ter.

How did the pastor fix his computer? He prayed for some divine tech support.

Why did the chicken join the church choir? It wanted to give its peck-tacular performance.

What did the Buddhist say to the pizza guy? Make me one with toppings.

Why did the pastor start a BBQ restaurant? He wanted to make some 'heavenly' ribs.

Why did the zombie go to church? He heard they had a 'body and blood' buffet.

What kind of car do religious people drive? A priest-tine.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear-aham.

What kind of tea do spiritual people drink? Sereni-tea.

Why was the lightning bolt so good at math? It knew how to strike a chord.

What is a skeleton's favorite hymn? 'Bone Alone' by Elvis Parsley.

What do you call a bear who is religious? A pray-ther.

Why were the fish in the church choir? They had great scales.

How do you make a nun swear? Have her step on a Lego.

What do you call a belt made out of watches? A was-time belt.

Why was the math book so confident? It knew all the angles.

What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? A roamin' Catholic.

Why was the choir so good at fixing things? They knew how to harmonize.

How did the angel fix his broken wings? With holy duct tape.