Why did the tofu go to church? To repent for its sins against bacon.

How did Noah see the animals at night? With ark lights.

Why was the Bible tired? It just finished a long scripture.

Why did the duck join the church choir? Because it had a great bill for hymns.

Why did the pastor carry a ladder? To take his preaching to a higher level.

What do you call a group of singing birds in church? A choir-rus.

Why was the yoga class full of sheep? They were all looking for the shepherd's pose.

What is a priest's favorite app? iSIN.

Why was the music teacher hired at the church? To help the choir hit the right notes.

What did the grape say after the sermon? Holy Wine.

What do you call a praying mantis in church? A bless-hopper.

Why did the ghost refuse the exorcism? It had a spiritual lease on haunting.

What do you call a religious workout routine? SoulCycle.

Why was the coffin so religious? It believed in resurrection exercises.

Why did the pastor bring a pogo stick to the sermon? To bounce some faith into the congregation.

What did the grape say after the church service? 'I have wine'd and I have sinned.'

Why was Satan a good salesman? He knows how to make a pitch.

What do you call a knight who is also a monk? Sir-Pray-A-Lot.

Why do angels carry harps? In case they need to harmonize their voices.

Why did the ghost join the church choir? To find its key to the afterlife.

Why was the nun so good at golf? She had a habit of making hole-in-one prayers.