Why did the Hindu priest switch to a vegan diet? He wanted to practice non-beef-ence.

What do you call a religious dog? A howl-lelujah hound.

Why did the atheist start a charity church? To prove that good deeds don't need divine intervention.

What do you call a group of sheep singing hymns? A pasture choir.

Why was the lemon so good at reciting scripture? It had a zest for the Word.

Why don't aliens visit religious events? They prefer to keep a universal distance.

What do you call a sheep with strong faith? A bleat-itude.

Why did the skeleton go to church on Halloween? To find some body to hang out with.

What did the religious ocean say to the beach? 'Have faith in the tide.'

Why did the ghost refuse to go to church? It had a spiritual haunting of its own.

What did the priest say when the church roof collapsed? 'Holy carpentry!'

What do you call a nun who performs magic tricks? Sister Presto.

Why did the atheist go to church? He wanted to see what lack of faith looked like.

Why do demons and ghouls get along so well? They have a mutual dis-taste for holy water.

Why did the vampire convert to Christianity? He wanted to stop living a garlic-free lifestyle.

What do you call an angel who is always late? A procrast-angel.

Why don't robots believe in God? They have artificial intelligence.

What do you call a bear with no religious beliefs? A non-believer.

Why do pastors make great gardeners? They have a green thumb for spiritual growth.

Where do ghosts go to pray? Scare-d Heart Church.

Why did Cain and Abel hate instructions? Because they don't like being told to follow 'brotherly love.'