What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. Just like some religious figures.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, just like a false prophet.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired from going to church.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite, just like a chilly church service.

What did one angel say to the other? Halo there, looking divine!

What's a pastor's favorite type of music? Gospel, because it's always a hit.

What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything, like true enlightenment.

What's the best way to communicate with a fish? Drop it a line, just like spreading the word of God.

What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra, perfect for singing hymns.

How do you organize a space party? You planet, just like God created the universe.

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants, just like the Ten Commandments hold up believers.

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain, just like the mountain Moses climbed to receive the commandments.

Why did the peanut go to a party? It was a salted, just like the wounds Jesus endured.

What's a nun's favorite dessert? Holy cannoli.

Why do seagulls always carry mustard? In case they find a sandwich.

What do you call a sheep fast asleep? A 'silent baa'rb.

Why did the priest bring a ladder to church? To reach the high priest.

How does a mathematician exercise? By using the cosine-trainer.

Why did the scientist go to church? She heard they had mass.

Why did the vampire become a vegetarian? He couldn't stomach steak anymore.

What do you call a nun with a cold? A chilli nun.