What do you call a group of holy cows? Sacred beef!

Why was the computer tired of going to church? It had too many bytes!

How did the religious debate end? In a prayer showdown!

Why did the Buddhist refuse anesthesia during surgery? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why do geologists make terrible religious leaders? They take everything for granite!

Why was the cat so good at being a priest? It had nine lives to confess for!

Why did the pastor carry a ladder to church? He heard the service was going to be uplifting!

What do you call someone who steals holy water? A water thief-t!

Why do vampires never attack priests? They have a strong faith in their garlic protection!

How did the zombie convert to Christianity? He underwent a grave transformation!

Why did the pastor bring a ladder to the sermon? To reach the spiritual high points.

I don't always pray at church, but when I do, it's for the Wi-Fi to work.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So, I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

If Jesus were a rapper, he'd be MC Hammer.

Why did the atheist throw a house party? He wanted to prove he could have a good time without God.

I quit my job at the cheese factory because it was too intense. They were always grating on me! Sounds like a job for an ex-monk.

What do you call a group of singing cows? A moo-sical.

When is an atheist most annoying? When you're in the middle of a prayer.

How do we know that Jesus was a cyclist? He always held the wheel.

Why did the psychic refuse to read the atheist's palm? She couldn't see their future.

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus! Just like divine guidance.