Why was the priest always cold in church? He had 'holy shiver' feelings.

What do you call a pastor with a camera? A 'pray'ssional photographer.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a werewolf? Frostbite.

How does a vampire clean his house? With a dust buster.

What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

What do you get when you cross a dog and a phone? A golden receiver.

Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they are shellfish.

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-brie.

Why was the belt locked up? It held up a pair of pants for ransom.

Did you hear about the paranoid church? They were convinced the pews were listening.

What do you call a potato that is an officer? A dictator.

Why can't you trust math teachers? They use too many problems.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils.

What do you call a stoner bee? A buzzed one.

Why did the space cat need a haircut? To look purr-fect.

Did you hear about the Balloon Animal church? It really blew up.

Why did the coffee go to church? Because it was a real saint.

How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

What do you call a holy vegetable? Jerusalem-artichoke.

Why don't skeletons play music in church? They have no organs.

Did you hear about the banker who was a priest? He offered online blessings.