How did Moses part his hair? With a hair dividers.

What happened to the grape who tried to become religious? It couldn't find salvation, just wine.

Why did the church hire a gardener? To bring growth to the congregation.

What do you call a religious dog? A holy hound.

Why did the skeleton become a priest? He had bone to pick with sin.

How do you send a prayer to someone's inbox? Heavenly email.

Why did the math book go to church? It needed some divine calculations.

What's a squirrel's favorite religious holiday? The Feast of St. Francis.

Why do angels always carry harps? They like to string people along.

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape? Hare-obics.

Why was the ghost asked to lead the church service? He had a hauntingly good voice.

What did the cowboy say after he finished praying? 'Amen, partner!'

Why did the chicken go to church? To get a little eggstra guidance.

What did the grape do when it heard about prayer? It went to sultana-tion.

How did the computer get into heaven? It had a great connection.

Why did the nun bring a ladder to church? To take her prayers to a higher level.

What do you call religious beans? The prayers in a pod.

Why do angels make the best comedians? They have heavenly material.

What instrument do you play during quiet time? A pray-no.

Why was the smartphone a good Christian? It believed in the power of texts.

How do you know if someone at church is sleepy? They're nodding off during mass.