Why did the nun always carry a map? In case she needed 'holy' directions.

How did Jesus make his coffee? Hebrewed it with a little divine intervention.

Why did the rabbi bring a ladder to church? He wanted to 'climb' the ranks.

What did the Buddhist say to the sandwich vendor? Make me one with everything.

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to dance with.

Why did the psychic priest start a bakery? He wanted to see into the bread future.

What do you call a holy man who can predict the weather? A prophet-weather.

What do you call a religious squirrel? A blessnut.

Why do pilgrims make terrible comedians? They always butcher the punchline.

How does a pastor keep his garden healthy? He prays for good soil.

Why did the Buddha refuse dessert? He was already enlightened.

What did the grape say when the Buddha stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

How do you get a nun to sleep with you? Dress up as a church Boy.

Why do monks meditate in the snow? To find their inner chill.

What do you call a religious boxer? Muhammad Holyfield.

What do you call a fight between a priest and a rabbi? Holy war.

How do you know if someone is a true believer in UFOs? They have faith in extraterrestrials.

Why did the Prodigal Son always break dishes? He never saw the sin-k before.

How does a priest become a millionaire? By turning water into wine and selling it as miracle juice.

Why did Moses have trouble finding the Promised Land? He kept wandering around.

Why did the priest break up with his internet girlfriend? She kept calling him Padre-cute.