How did the religious mime get his message across? By using silent prayers.

What do you call a fight between a nun and a priest? A holy war.

Why did the grape stop going to church? Because he lost his raisin to believe.

Why did the atheist throw a BBQ? He couldn't find a good reason not to.

What do you call a snake that's a member of a church choir? A hisster.

What do you call a nun who walks into a bar? Virgin Mary.

What did the nun say to the priest at the charity event? 'Holy guacamole, we've raised a lot of dough!'

What do you call a religious chicken? A scripture.

Why did the monk refuse to sleep on the bed? He preferred enlightenment.

What is a religious person’s favorite game to play at the beach? Sink or swim.

Why did the thief convert to Christianity? He heard they had good crosses.

Why did the pastor start a compost pile in church? He wanted to grow a closer-knit community.

What do you call someone who only eats kosher pancakes? A crepident.

Why did the pastor carry a ladder to church? To reach the high notes during hymns.

What do you call a group of praying mantises? Blessing bugs.

Why did the choir practice at the baseball field? They needed better pitches.

Why do monks make perfect comedians? They always have divine punchlines.

How do you know when it's time for a church potluck? When the gods are calling you to feast.

Why couldn't the Bible be trusted to keep secrets? It always spilled the beans.

What does a spiritual chef cook on Halloween? Ghoul-ash.

Why do churchgoers make bad drivers? They have too many 'Holy Rollers'.