Why did the Buddhist monk refuse to borrow money? He believed in the principle of non-attachment!

Why did the pastor get a job at the bakery? He wanted to rise to a higher calling!

Why did the skeleton refuse to attend the séance? He didn't have the guts for it!

Why did the rabbi start a garden? He wanted to cultivate some Hebrews!

Why did the priest carry a umbrella to church? In case of 'holy' water showers!

Why did the vegan refuse to play cards with the priest? Because the priest kept dealing with ham!

Why did the nun wear noise-canceling headphones to church? To block out the devil's tunes!

Why couldn't the astronaut perform the sacrament? Because he needed space to breathe!

Why did the pine tree get in trouble? It was being knotty!

How does a penguin fly? It waddles into an airplane!

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!

Why did the pencil get a bad grade? It didn't have a point!

Why don't aliens attend church services? They already believe in a higher life-form!

What did the nun say to the skunk? 'I can smell your sins, my child!'

Why did the preacher bring a tissue to the pulpit? He was preparing for a sermon with tears!

What's a demon's favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller-ghoster coaster!

Why did the scarecrow become a monk? He wanted to find inner-peace in the field!

Why did the choir members go to the hardware store? They needed to buy some more 'tenor' screws!

Why couldn't the ghost find a church to haunt? They were all fully ghost-occupied!

Why did the gingerbread man go to church? He needed some more 'holy' icing!

Why did the vampire convert to Christianity? He heard it was a 'blood'-sucking religion!