What has a horn but doesn't honk? A unicorn.

Why was the calendar always on time? It had dates to keep.

What has a mouth but doesn't speak? A river.

What has shoes but can't walk? A shoe rack.

Why did the pizza go to the psychiatrist? It wanted to discuss its deep pan issues.

Why did the calendar get fired? Its days were numbered.

What has a thumb and four fingers, but is not living? A glove.

Why was the musician arrested? He got caught with a rest!

Why was the belt running around the waist? To hold up the pants!

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He had no body to dance with!

What has many ears but can't hear? A cornfield.

I'm not a fan of whiteboards. They're re-markable.

What begins with E, ends with E, and contains only one letter? An envelope.

What word is spelled the same way backwards and forwards? Racecar.

Why was the broom running late? It swept in.

I have keys but can't unlock anything. What am I? A keyboard.

I have a neck but no head, arms but no hands. What am I? A shirt.

What has words but cannot speak? A dictionary.

What is full of holes but can still hold water? A net.

Having many keys but can't open locks, What am I? A piano.

What is as light as a feather, but even the strongest man can't hold it for long? Your breath.